Castle SPOILER!!!

I'm so glad Kate picked Mal instead of Anders! Mal Reynolds is the man. And Anders is a Cylon anyways, so doesn't that automatically count him out?

But I look really good in a flight suit! Kate has to pick me!

But I got a cool gun, I'm captain of my own ship, and I look really dashing and have Han Solo- like charm. I win.

Vanity Fair = UPS

For those that haven't seen the latest cover of Vanity Fair, prepare yourself. First, it's nice to see that Vanity Fair has taken an interest in soccer. With the World Cup right around the corner (Only 23 days till it begins!), every one is writing stories and editorials on the players and places. Enter Vanity Fair. Hot on the heals of Drogba being on Time's 100 Most Influential People in the World list, Vanity Fair chose to feature Drogba and Ronaldo on their front cover. It's great that the world is doing it's best to let us all know about the stars that will take center stage at the World Cup, but why to portray two of the best players in a total beefcake pose on the front cover is ridiculous. We already know that footy players have nice bodies, but to grease them up like Chip and Dale dancers and have them stand so close to each other that their pelvises are nearly touching is just gross. And it's not like these two need any other excuse to increase the size of their already ultra-inflated egos. Sure...Ladies will drool, but Vanity Fair might as well change their name to UPS because it seems they are trying to deliver Drogba's and Ronaldo's packages to the news stand of America.

To see the pic, click here.

My Favorite Gift

It's no secret. I love Kung-Fu movies. Even more that that, I love Jackie Chan movies. Sure, getting movies for Christmas is fun, but you can only watch them so many times. But when someone gives you something that is completely unexpected, yet still relates to one of the things you love...those are the gifts to cherish. So imagine the look on my face when I unwrapped this.

Yep. That's right. It's Jackie Chan. A 12 inch movable doll that is one sixth the size of Jackie Chan himself (which really doesn't make sense considering he isn't 6 ft tall). He came with detachable sunglasses and jacket and can be molded into any position that you can think of. He now resides on the top of my desk, eagerly waiting to open a can of kung-fu hurt on any 4th grader who wants to pop some attitude. Watch out 4th grade! Here comes Jackie Chan!

Thanks, Mark!

In 2009, I...

Became a father,

Taught 4th grade for the third year in a row (my 9th year of teaching),

Got a new brother-in-law,

Wrote three songs, some blog posts, and my first (official) short story,

Enjoyed watching TV shows, including Burn Notice, Angel, Leverage, Castle, and the 9th season of Smallville,

Continued loving my wife for the 9th year in a row (6 years married),

Read The Lightening Thief, The Magicians Elephant, the ultimate guides to Superman and Conan, and more trade paperbacks than I can count (thank you, library!),

Rocked out on my guitar at Sunset Presbyterian Church,

and became an official dork by visiting the SciFi Museum in Seattle.

Christmas Dumpster Diving

Now that it's legally Christmas time (December) and I can now listen to Christmas music and pull out the old decorations and decorate the tree, I have been thinking a lot about the things we all do for Christmas. It always seems every year is different. Last year was the first year Alli and I cut a live tree. This year, I portrayed Joseph in the children's Christmas play at our church. The list could go on and on, but the more I think of it, the more one memory always comes to mind. That memory is of the year my father and I dumpster dove on a cold Christmas Eve night.

We had already pulled all of the decorations out of the boxes that we hid every year in the garage and did as much as we could to turn our home in Visalia, California, into a winter wonderland. We put the wreath on the door, hung the countdown calendar on the fridge, and set up the nativity scene in the front room. It was all perfect all except for one thing. We didn't have a tree.

It was no secret that year. We didn't have a lot of money. Dad had told us money was a little tight and that we would get a tree....eventually. We just didn't know when "eventually" was. Did that mean in a few days, or did he mean in a couple of weeks? We waited all month for the moment dad would tell us that we were going to hop in the car and go to the Christmas tree lot to get a tree, but the days passed and we continued to wait. We waited all month. It wasn't until Christmas Eve night that dad told me that we were going to go and get a tree.

"You got some extra money?" I asked.

"Not quite," my father replied. "But we'll be able to get a tree."

How in the world were we going to get a tree without money? I wanted to ask my dad, but I knew he had a plan. He had never let me down before, so why should I think any less of him now? We were going to get a tree. I just didn't have a clue how we were going to do it.

After dinner, we jumped into the car, just he and I, and we started driving. The city was a ghost town. Everyone was inside, snuggling up under the covers, waiting for Christmas day to arrive.

"There's got to be one around here somewhere," my father said as he drove. "We just have to find one." He was a man on a mission, searching the parking lots we passed by like an eagle searches for it's prey. We kept on driving until he finally saw what he was looking for.

We pulled into the parking lot to one of our favorite places to eat. Mearl's Drive-In. The place was ancient. It had been around when my father was in high school and was still up an running, still making their artery clogging burgers, fries, and gigantic ice cream sundays. Although the diner was closed, the huge neon light still buzzed on through the night. "Eat at Mearl's," the sign flashed to me as I looked out the car window.

"This will work," my dad said as he stopped the car. "We can get our tree here."

"Here?" I asked. "There's nothing here. The Christmas tree lot that was here already closed down. How are we supposed to get a tree now?"

We walked all the way to the back of the parking lot and stopped next to the dumpster. He turned and motioned for me to come over to where he was.

My father finally stopped to clue me in on the plan.

"Every year, Christmas tree lots everywhere end up having extra trees that they can't sell. It's usually the scrawny ones or the ones with problems that they can't get rid of. So, they just throw them away on Christmas Eve when they close the lot for the season." He pointed to the dumpster. "Somewhere in this dumpster has got to be a tree that's good enough to put in our house...and you're going to find it."

I pointed to myself. "Me?"

"Yep."

"So you mean I'm going to jump out that dumpster and pick a Christmas tree?"

"Yep."

A smile spread across my face. It was like a game. Find the best Christmas tree in the dumpster.

Seconds later, I was in the dumpster. My dad climbed right in after me. The dumpster was full to the brim with all different sizes of trees. Tiny ones. Scrawny ones. Dead ones. And tons more. We began moving trees to see what we could find. We kept digging. It seemed like all the bad ones were on the top, but we were determined to find something special in that heap of unfortunate trees. Finally, as we neared the bottom of the dumpster, we found it.

We picked it up and threw it out of the dumpster. It was huge. And tall. It would have been a perfect specimen of a tree, had it not had a huge hole towards the base of it's body.

I stared at the hole in the side of the tree. "What are we going to do about that?" I asked, pointing to the hole.

"We'll hide it in the back. That way no one will see it." My dad smiled at me. "When we're done with it, you won't even know it's there.

And with that, we picked up the tree, tied it to our car, and took it home. A couple of hours later, the tree was decorated. We all stood and stared at the tree in satisfaction. It was big, beautiful, and best of all, it was free. You couldn't even tell that it had been pulled out of a dumpster.

To this day, I still sit and think about past Christmas trees. I try to remember some of the other trees that we decorated as a family. Which was the biggest? The best? I try to picture them in my head, but I can't remember any of them. The only tree that I can remember, and the best tree I ever had, was the tree my father and I rescued on Christmas Eve...the dumpster tree.

Thanksgiving Rant

I try not to be a negative person. I really do, but there are some things in the world that just make me see red. What might make me so agitated that I have to write about it on my blog? you wonder. This. How people are conditioned to skip past Thanksgiving and move right on to Christmas.

For those of you that know me well, Thanksgiving is my favorite time of year. Not only does it happen in the fall (my favorite season), but it also is a holiday that can't be tainted by the commercial garbage that comes along with holidays like the 4th of July, Halloween, and Christmas. It's about giving thanks for the things you have, appreciating everything and everyone, and celebrating that fact with the ones we love. It's an "unselfish" holiday, and I think this is the reason people want to skip past it. They want to get to the "getting" holiday in stead of focus on Thanksgiving, which leads me to my rant.

This year Halloween came and went, and the following day I needed to stop by Target to pick up a few odds and ends. But as I walked into the door, I couldn't help but groan. There in front of me, were gigantic Christmas ornaments hanging from the ceiling. Red, green and silver were everywhere. Don't get me wrong, I love Christmas and celebrating the birth of our Lord Jesus...but only when it's CHRISTMAS TIME! Then, two weeks ago, which was the first week of November, Alli and I are driving back home to our apartment when all of the sudden we see three homes, lit up and fully decorated for Christmas. One even already had a tree up and decorated!

Think of this as a little food for thought.

Starting Christmas too early not only takes the focus off of Thanksgiving, but it also takes the fun and excitement out of Christmas. In my opinion, having to wait to decorate and open up all those Christmas boxes we have stored away for the year makes me appreciate them more because I only see them for one month out of the year. By doing so, it helps me really focus on giving thanks for my family, friends, and everything God has provided for us. So this year, keep the Christmas decorations in their boxes until after Thanksgiving. That way we can completely focus on what we are supposed to really be doing...GIVING THANKS.

School, Sickness and Stones

What a beginning of the year.  It has definitely started with a bang.  My class is wonderful this year.  A little chatty, but I have yet to see any signs of defiance or any mean students.  But just like every year before, the beginning of the year came crashing down on me.  There's nothing like going from only interacting with a few people a day to having a school full of 600 plus kids that are all sniffling and sneezing.  So it didn't take long before I was feeling ill.  And then on top of that, the first Sunday of the year where I had to play was accompanied with severe back pain.  I honestly thought it was a kidney stone.  I was wondering if I had done something to deserve all of these misfortunes all at the same time.  Luckily, there was no kidney stone, I'm feeling better thanks to the doc, and the year is now sliding into it's groove.  Sheesh! What a beginning of the year.

But every bad thing always has a silver lining.  That silver lining came to me in the form of a song from one of my good friends, Jay McKenney.  It's entitled "Kidney Stone".  You can click here to listen to it.  Enjoy.

Random Road Trip Moments

Lots of things can happen on a road trip. Some good, some bad. Now that we are done with the first half of our trip, I would like to give out a few awards to places and individuals we encountered on the way to California.

The Cheesiest Road Sign Award: This award goes out to the city of Weed, CA. As you enter the city there is a sign that says, "WEED like to welcome you!" This made both Alli and I groan. Clark, on the other hand, was speechless.

The Super Origami-Man Award: While stopping at a BK in Redding, CA, for lunch, we met a man who had the knack for folding paper. When we sat down he was in the process of making a little girl at the table next to us a T-rex. Then, as he was leaving, he gave Clark the gift of a dollar that had been folded into a tiny little collared shirt. It was so cool! I was totally inspired by this man who used his gift of paper folding to bring a little joy to others around him.

The Coolest Invention Award: Everyone has seen those vending machines that you come across in the bathrooms at truck stops. They dispense everything from aspirin to condoms to fake tattoos. But Alli and I saw a new one. Cologne. This machine had five different spray nozzles that will squirt your choice of imitation scents on you for only a few measly coins. The silliest thing was that in order to get your neck up to the nozzles, most people of average height would have to stand on their tippy toes. Sheer genius!

The Most Thoughtful Train Conductor Award: On the final stretch of road on the way to Fresno, we came across a train crossing our path. Not a problem...usually. With only one and a half train cars left to go, the conductor stopped the train. Just when we thought we were almost there, we had to turn around after waiting 15 minutes. Thanks a bunch, inconsiderate train conductor man!

The Ding-dong-McGee Award: This one goes out to yours truly. We made our first stop of the road trip at the Woodburn outlets, which was only about 45 minutes from our home. Alli pulled out a brand new container of formula for Clark. The tab to open the container broke off as she tried to open it. Without even thinking, I said, "Just hand it to me. I can open it." I pulled out my keys. The sharp edge of a key would be more than enough to pop the top of the container. So I took the key and pushed. Good news, the can was open. Bad news, in my rush to open the container, I opened it a little too hard. With a nice firm push, I pushed the key, and my fist, to the bottom of the can. Formula shot everywhere, coating Clark and the entire backseat of the car with a hefty dose of white powder. Clark stared at me in shock. Alli laughed out loud. And I, not wanting to curse in front of my child, began to spurt out the closest thing possible to what I truly wanted to say. "Ef! Ef, ef, ef, ef, ef, ef, ef!" One hour later, after a good vacuuming and a much needed cool-down period, we made our way to California.

31 and Counting: #19 - Themed Boxers/Pajamas

There is something very amusing to me about funny boxers.  I can only imagine the thoughts that go through the people's heads as they sit and choose the fabric and prints that they use to make these undergarments.  I think I even enjoy it a little more now that I have a wife that thinks that they are just as funny as I do.  The list of witty types of boxer prints out there is endless, so here is a list I have compiled of my favorites.  

Boxers covered with...

1. Acorns (or any type of nut)
2. Super Heroes (They never get old... probably started with Underoos)
3. Wooden Soldier Nutcrackers
4. Christmas Packages
5. Fruit (Haven't seen them with the fruit basket yet, but I'm sure someone will come up with it sooner or later)

The only one I'm surprised I haven't seen yet are treasure chests or some sort of jewels.  I know... I have a slightly perverse mind, but I think it's pretty darn funny.

Any boxer prints you've seen lately that have made you laugh?  

OK Hike

There is nothing like stepping out your door, driving to the forest and hiking on a dreary day. The only thing I usually struggle with is what to listen to as I hike. But since today was drizzling and especially dark, I thought a little Radiohead OK Computer would do well. It did. It was perfect! And it made it even better to hike to the Stone House in Forest Park. It was an old Works Progress Administration (WPA) project in the 1930s but later was abandoned and ruined in the 1962 Columbus Day Storm. It all looked very spooky and ancient. All in all, music + hiking + sweet old houses = a jolly good time.

Mustache March Finale

All good things must come to an end. But for our wives, this particular "good thing" came to an end way too late. By the end of the month, only Clint and I were left with facial hair that could be mistaken for a black comb being taped to our top lip. And with it being the end, you have to sport the solo mustache. But before I go on to show you our pictures, let's take a walk through memory lane and thank all of the great men of media who helped inspire us through the month of March.

Like Kevin Kline, who rocked a huge comb-like mustache in French Kiss.

Or who can forget Ron Burgundy and his mustache bringing San Diego the nightly news.

And last but not least, Tom Selleck, his mustache, and his baby blue eyes.

All of this manliness you see before you led to this great month, and all we could do was stand tall and proud of our mustaches. At least we can look back in time and say, "Although this may not have been the coolest thing at the time, mustaches were once cool...just not according to our wives."

Although we may have looked like THIS to everyone else around us...

we really felt like THIS. Tough. Manly. And proud of the fact that we can grow hair on our upper lip!

Mustache March: Week 1 - The Tough Guy Look

That's right... It's Mustache March.  Out of the eight of us, only three remain.  Ken, our janitor, already had a mustache so he didn't do Full Beard February, but man does his stache look good.  As for Clint and I, we are sticking to the plan (unlike Sean, in the background, who is sticking with his trimmed beard).  First up in the way of special shaves is the the Tough Guy Look. This is the full chops attached to the mustache. It's the staple for bikers and wrestlers.  Sure, most of the ladies we work with think we are crazy, but we don't think anything of it because they thought we were crazy even before we had crazy facial hair.  So here it is!  Week 1!  Up next, the Frenchman!

31 and Counting: #21 - Blogs

The other day my wife told me about a comment that was left on one of our friends blog.  The comment on the blog was something like this... "This blog makes no sense."  The more I thought about this comment the more I thought about the true purpose of a blog.  The best definition I have ever heard for blogs comes from the title of my friend Phil's blog.  In his blog title it says, "A blog for you... and by you I mean me."  Sure, blogs can be written for many reasons, but that is the best part about a blog.  You can write about whatever you want.  It doesn't have to make sense.  As long as the writer is content with what he or she is writing about, who cares if it doesn't make sense.  Blogs can be used to share stories, pictures, ideas, songs, random thoughts, sheer stupidity and any other reason you can think of.  That's why I love them.  They reflect the author's creativity and thoughts, as well as their passions and ideas.  So keep blogging for others... and by others I mean you.

31 and Counting: #23 - Shepherd's Pie

I know that year after year I have said that Taco Salad is my favorite food of all time...but there is a new food coming in at a close second that is constantly pushing the envelope of "Ben's Favorite Food," Shepherd's pie is that food.  I don't know what it is, but over the last year I have started to love particular things that are simple yet satisfying.  First off there's lots of meat in it that's mixed up with a bunch of vegetables.  On top of that, it's all swimming in a pool of gravy, many a times which has dark beers in the mix.  And then all of that is covered completely with the best comfort food of all time... mashed potatoes!  I also love when it's been put in the broiler and the top of it is nice and crispy.  Finally, the best part about shepherd's pie is that my wife knows how to make it and makes it well.  Go Alli!

Birthday Morning Surprise!

There's nothing like being woken up at 5 A.M. in the morning, on your birthday, by the sound of your cat vomiting on your bed.  I guess she felt like she needed to give me something on my birthday.  What a special thing it was, too. And on top of that, there is nothing more fun than searching the floor in a pitch black room searching for cat vomit while your eyes are trying to adjust to the little light that you have in the room.  

For some odd reason, I think this birthday will be one of those ones that just sticks out in your mind as "that" birthday. Yipee!

31 and Counting: #24 - Forgiving Blog Readers

I know, I know. I am one of the most non-consistent blog posters in the world.  But thanks to people like you who read my blog, I am always encouraged to write more.  Most people would just stop reading and move onto something else, but you haven't.  Thanks for reading and checking in all of the time. 

31 and Counting: #25 - Scarves

I've never been a fan of accessorizing.  I had an earring at one time but it didn't last too long (even though it's now been 7 years since I wore one and I still to this day have a hole in my ear).  But there is something about a scarf that just makes sense to me.  It's not to flashy. It serves the purpose of keeping your neck warm, which is great for those cold Oregon days.  They can be home made or store bought.  It also can bring in a little color to spice things up.  Scarves are also a great way to support your local soccer team.  Scarves with team names can be swung around or held high in support of your team at a game or even be worn around town to show pride in your team.  Lastly, there are so many different ways to wear a scarf.  You can hang it on your neck, wrap it around, or double it over and pull it through (I've been told that this is the Euro way to wear a scarf).  And the best thing is, scarves last a really long time.  You could even begin to have a scarf collection if you wanted to.  Man, I LOVE SCARVES!

Sick Days

Sick days come once in a blue moon for me. But when they do, I guess I need to take advantage of them. Today marks the first sick day in an entire year. I couldn't believe that it had been that long since I had been ill in the last year. This got me thinking about the many things that we have a tendency to forget about. With so much happening in our world that is negative and has a tendency to distract us from the positives, it makes it hard to remember to be grateful for the things we do have...like only having to take one sick day out of an entire year. So, out of a desire to focus on the little things that I rarely do, here is a few things I'm grateful for on my sick day.

1. Honey and tea...nothing else feels so good on a soar throat.
2. Technology...not only can I blog, but I can also email, video chat, play games, and watch my dad preach on Sundays.
3. Substitute teachers...without them I would have had to go in to school today.
4. Ramen...need I say more.
5. Silence...I guess I should suck up as much of this as possible before baby Porter arrives.
6. And last...tissues, because my nose seems to be running a freaking marathon today.
   

Christmas Break Comes Early

People who live in other parts of the world, who know how to function during snow, must be laughing their heads off at us Oregonians right now. Today marks the fifth snow day in a row. In my mind, when the word snow day is said, I picture huge piles of snow. But here, all it takes is a little ice and schools close. That's all good with me. That just means that my Christmas Break officially started today. Yipee!

Snow Days and Mixed Feelings

First of all, it's freaking cold up here. On Sunday morning, it began to dump snow on the greater Portland area and dropped down to the twenties over the last few days. Sunday was beautiful, but it came with some problems. Not only did Alli and I miss church, but we also were not able to go see My Name is Bruce on Sunday night. Bruce was even going to be there to talk about the movie. We even had tickets. ARG! Darn you, snow! But shortly after being disappointed with the missing of the movie, I was soon overjoyed to find out the Monday, and also Tuesday, School was canceled. Early spring break! Sweet. The only real problems is that it's still stinking cold. Brrrrr.