My Costume

Having lived in California for the majority of my life, I've ran into my fair share of different sports fans. Since California has so many stinking teams to choose from, one can get lost amongst the hoards of fans. But there is one thing that you learn about all of these fans...no fans are crazier than Raider's fans. So, since I actually own a Raiders jersey (I know, I know...But it says Porter on the back), I thought it would be fitting to go as one of those crazed Raiders fans. And all it took was a little bit of shaving to really bring the costume together. Have a look for yourself.

Life at Sunset

There is always something awesome going on at Sunset (Alli's and my church home). Luckily, I have been able to be involved in many of the areas of the service that happen in front of the entire church. Just so that all of you can see some of the excellence that goes on here, I want to share a couple of videos with you. The first is a video of many of our church's individuals saying the Apostles Creed. I love that it shows all of us (young and old) saying the same thing.



The second is a performance from this last Sunday where some of the leaders at our church got up in front of the congregation and shared their life verses. This was great and went well with the theme of running the marathon of life. To help split up the verses, Jay chose to have the song "Word of God Speak" sang in between the sections. I was lucky enough to be asked to sing it in both services. I know it's a bit long, but it really gives you a feel for the great things that are going on at our church. Enjoy!

Oops!

This week has been chalked full of funny things. Having parent conferences and long hours always leads to funny stories. Here are a few of them.

While asking one of my students "What is one thing that you're proud of that you have done in the classroom?", her brother (about a second later) farted loudly on the chair next to her (on accident, of course). We all just sat there looking at each other silently waiting to see who would crack first. As soon as her dad started laughing, we all lost it...for about two minutes. The only thing I could say to her was, "At least you can be proud of the fact that you,ve never farted in my class." All we could do was laugh our way through the end of the conference.

Looking back on my life, there are many times in the past when I wish that I had just kept my mouth shut instead of saying something that I shouldn't have said. Today was one of them. Our PE teacher had some students turn in two softballs that they found on the field. They happened to be promotional softballs for Hungry Howie's Pizza. All you had to do was call in an order and you got a free large pizza for each softball that you had. So I called and asked if the promotion was still on and if we could get a single large pizza. After talking to the manager and found out that the deal was good, he transferred me back to the female receptionist. But in my excitement of getting a free pizza, I stopped and though that it would be easier to get two free pizzas instead of one. So instead of asking for a second pizza, I uttered, "Actually, I have two balls." All I heard was silence on the other end of the line. Everyone in the staff room started cracking up. All of the sudden it donned on me what I had actually said. I then tried to spit out the fact that I had two "softballs" (which made me and my teacher friends laugh even harder) and wanted two free pizzas. You can only imagine where the conversations went from there. Although this was quite embarrassing (the receptionist started laughing when I arrived at the pizza place with my two balls), at least we ate for free today.

Holy Mid-Week Games Batman!

With parent teacher conferences starting this week, I totally forgot to check when the following games for the week were and found out that all of the games are either today or tomorrow.  So I'm gonna make this one quick.  Hopefully I'll be able to do a little better on my predictions than 40% like last week.  For more information from this past week in the Premier League, click here.

Porter's Picks for Week 9:

Tuesday, October 28th, 2008

1. Newcastle vs WBA - With both teams on a loosing streak, I'm gonna have to say that having home advantage will probably help Newcastle take home the win...even though they are 19th place in the league.

Wednesday, October 29th, 2008

1. Aston Villa vs Blackburn:  Villa won big last week.  Villa has made it a point to push their way to the top over the last few years.  Look for them to win over Blackburn.
2. Fulham vs Wigan:  Both teams aren't doing so well as of late.  Even with the unbelievable goals of Zaki, Wigan still finds themselves near the bottom.  Fulham has been improving over the last few weeks with a couple of draws.  I think with the home advantage, Fulham can pull this one off just as long as they can shut down Zaki.
3. Hull City vs Chelsea:  Here's the game of the week.  Hull City has beat Arsenal and Chelsea is coming off of a loss against Liverpool (the first loss at home in a long time - they had a 68 game no losses at home streak going on) they'll either be shaken up or looking for someone to take their aggression out on.  But Hull City is like the new mountain that continues to stand tall. And their at home.  Hull City all of the way.
4. Stoke City vs Sunderland:  Even though they'll be away from home, Sunderland can win this one over Stoke City.
5. Arsenal vs Tottenham:  Even though the Hot Spurs just took home their first win of the season under new manager Harry Redknapp, Arsenal at home will be too strong for them to beat.
6. Bolton vs Everton:  After the last two weeks, Everton has been impressive.  They scored first against Arsenal and help Man U to a tie last week.  I'm calling Everton to win this one.
7. Liverpool vs Portsmouth:  Who can stop the unstoppable team of Liverpool?  Defenitely not Portsmouth.
8. Manchester United vs West Ham United: After last weeks terrible effort against Everton, Man U needs this one bad. With West Ham on a three game loosing streak, Man U should win at home.  Let's just pray they don't play as bad as they did last week.
9. Middlesbrough vs Manchester City:  Rhobinho got his first hat trick for Man City last week and Middlesbrough is having a tough time taking home wins.  This will be a good time for Man City to take home an away win.

Agree?  Dissagree?  Don't care? (Even though you should!)

Teachers Like to Have Fun Too!

Many of us at the school were thinking of ways in which we could have a little fun. First, we started by posting pictures of people on staff in the break room. Sounds harmless, right? The only thing is that we had taken their faces and put them into the Yearbook Yourself program so that everyone looks completely ridiculous. But the more we thought about it, funny pictures weren't going to let us blow off steam at the end of the week. Sure, they were good for a laugh, but we needed something a little more active. So last Friday, a bunch of us gathered for the first time to have our very own Fun Friday. The game was Chair Curling. Teachers push their teammate, who is sitting on one of the new rolling chairs from the break room, and see if they can get they close to a target that is located down the hall. Here are some pics and a video so that you could see all the fun that we had. Congrats to the Crazy-K-Cats for taking home the win. And next week, DODGE BALL!

The whole gang in action.

Clint and I were called Nancy Boys (Thanks Sean) before the start of the game,
so we embraced the name. Go Nancy Boys!

McKinley Staff in Action!

Weekend Double Feature, Part 2

For the past couple of years, my wife and I have started a new tradition...watching cheesy horror movies on Halloween with a bunch of friends. So the other day we went to our local Blockbuster to pick up some classics. Since Alli really doesn't like being scared, we go for the not-so-scary movies. But as we were going through the isle, I couldn't help but pick up one of my old time favorites, the 1985 horror classic Silver Bullet. I can't tell you how many times I would turn on the Saturday Matinee and see this movie. Here's the gist.

The people of Tarker's Mills have a problem. This problem happens to come with the full moon. One by one, people wind up missing and the townspeople get a little on edge. But the only one who believes that this menace is a werewolf is a 13 year old boy in a wheelchair. Enter Corey Haim. Yes. Only a teen heartthrob could take on a ghastly beast of the night. He, his sister, and Uncle Red (who is none other than the mentally unstable Gary Busey) decide that it's hunting time. But here is the catch. As soon as they getting closer to finding out who the werewolf is, he starts to hunt them. (I guess the flesh of a kid stuck in a wheelchair tastes like veal to a werewolf.) The best part comes when young Mr. Haim is about to get chomped on. So what does he do? He shoots a bottle rocket in the werewolfs eye. Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't bottle rockets the hardest thing on the face of the planet to aim? Anyways, the next day they see the preacher...yes, I said the preacher...with an eye patch! Thus begins the inner conflict of the preacher. How can a man of the God be a creature of the night? Beats me. But now that the secret is out, Corey Haim and company now have a target. But the preacher knows they know.

(Spoiler Alert!) Now we all know you kill werewolfs with silver bullets, so they go to the metal worker to get one crafted. But that's the problem. When I said one, I meant one. They only have enough silver to make one bullet. (Least they could have done was sell something to buy some more silver. Sheesh!) Putting said bullet in a gun, they go home and wait for the monster to attack. One of the best scenes comes when the beast breaks in to attack. The gun gets hit out of Gary Busey's hands and the bullet falls out...and down into the heating vent! Luckily they have the craziest man on earth there to fist fight...yep...I said fist fight...the werewolf. And just as Busey gets flung to the floor and the monster is going to kill poor Corey Haim and his sister, Corey retrieves the bullet from the vent, loads it and shoots the beast...In The Other Eye! I mean, what are the chances of that? For a kid who has never shot a gun before in his life, you would think that he would at least aim for the biggest part of the body. But no. He feels the need to be a true marksman and shoots him in the eye. I guess those people who wrote the "Idiots Guide to Killing Werewolfs" forgot to put in the pages that werewolfs have weak and ultra vulnerable eyes as well. Here's the trailer for you to enjoy.



With Halloween coming up, do you have any scary old movies you love to watch?

Weekend Double Feature, Part 1

Since I didn't post last weekend on a cheesy movie of the week, I'll post a double feature.

You ever have a film that has a song that just sticks in your mind. One that has stuck with me is an odd movie from 1968 called "The Green Slime". Sadly, the only thing that I could remember about the film was the cheesy and very funky song and that it involved some green ooze that changed into monsters. But I didn't have to look far to find a copy of the movie on youtube. Here's the skinny. Giant asteroid is going to crash into earth. Space troopers are sent to go investigate it and blow it to kingdom come. Only problem is that they go to the asteroid and there is this green slime. They think it's harmless. They're wrong. It turns into aliens. They fight the aliens. Lots of people and aliens die. In the end, they have to abandon the space station and nuke it to save the planet. Sounds pretty simple, right? Wrong. All the while, there is a love triangle swirling through the film between the space hottie and two men, the general and the grunt commando. And the best thing about the movie, they play that wonderful song again to close out the final scene. Here's the trailer for a taste of cheesy sci-fi that will stick with you for years to come.



And for those who haven't seen enough, here is the music video that was released with the film.

Porter's Picks Week 8

Finally, for the first time this year, I was able to watch a little Premier action over at a friends house and let me tell you that there is nothing better than watching a good match with a fellow football fan (The REAL football!).  Although I was only predicting correctly for 50% of the games last week, the results were satisfactory.  With another win under their belts, Manchester United is continuing to climb the table. Here's to hoping Chelsea and Liverpool loose or draw a game in the future so that we can get to the top.  Here are my picks for this week.

Saturday, October 25th, 2008

1. Everton vs Manchester United:  With Man U coming off two massive wins, you can bet that they will continue their winning streak by beating Everton.
2. Sunderland vs Newcastle:  With Newcastle getting a draw against a strong Manchester City team (2-2) this last week, I think this is the week Newcastle will pull out a win (even though I would much rather see Roy Keane's Black Cats take home the win).
3. WBA vs Hull City:  After eight weeks, Hull City's sitting strong at the top in third place.  Last week WBA lost 4-0 against Man U.  Two words for the win...HULL CITY!
4. Blackburn vs Middlesbrough:  With both teams having some troubles taking home the wins, I think Blackburn will pull out a small victory over Middlesbrough.

Sunday, October 26th, 2008

1. Chelsea vs Liverpool:  This one is a scorcher!  Both teams at the top.  This is the 1 and 2 battle.  Chelsea is coming off a 5-0 victory over Middlesbrough and Liverpool had a hard fought 3-2 comeback win over Wigan.  This one is going to come down to heart, and after seeing the Pool fight for their win last week I have to say Liverpool will break the undefeated streak that Chelsea has had at home for the past 3 years.  (But honestly, I'd love to see a draw so Man U can get a little closer to the two of them on the table.)
2. Manchester City vs Stoke City:  Man City without a doubt will win this one.
3. Tottenham vs Bolton:  Tottenham is having their worst start in years.  I'm just surprised Juande Ramos hasn't gotten the boot yet.  With two starters out with red cards, Bolton will take home the win.
4. Wigan vs Aston Villa:  This will also be a great game.  Look for the goal scoring maniac Zaki to put some more goals under his belt and help push Wigan to a home win.
5. West Ham United vs Arsenal:  Arsenal looked a little rocky at the beginning of their game against Everton last Saturday, but once they got out the early game jitters, they looked unstoppable.  Arsenal will take home an away win over West Ham.
6. Portsmouth vs Fulham:  Portsmouth looks too strong for Fulham.  And being at home, they'll more than likely win this one. 

My Wife's Super!

There are some days where I'm really glad I have someone who understands my crazy mind. The other day a friend invited us to a costume party for her husband (Happy B-day, Tyler!) and we came up with the idea of going as Lois Lane and Clark Kent. We talked about how we would dress and ended it at that. But the next day she comes home and says she has a surprise. What was the surprise? She reached in her purse and produced two fake press passes for the Daily Planet with the names Kent and Lane on them. Does she rock or does she rock? Here's a picture of us at the party with the super cool badges. (I know, I know. Superman doesn't have a beard...but he would if he lived in Oregon.)

The Jar-Jar Binks Disease

Some classics should never be touched. They were great when they were first out and live strong in our hearts and minds...until someone comes along and screws things up! It's like my dad always said when he spoke to camp kids about going back to dig up/resurrect old habits. He would always say, "It's like going and digging up your old dead dog. Sure, he was a great dog back in the day, but do you really need to go dig him up and roll around and play with him again?" That's how I feel about old movies. Sometimes (and rarely) movies need to be redone because the effects back in the day couldn't portray the director's true vision. But most often, they should be left as they are.

Take for example the new Indiana Jones movie. Not a bad idea. Great visual moments. All in all, it was good fun, but... (Feel free to fill in the rest of the sentence yourself with whatever scene of the movie you thought was ridiculous.) For those of us who have read all of the novels, the idea of aliens wasn't so far fetched. But let's be honest. Some parts flat out stunk. After watching it for a second time, I think it all boils down to one problem. Lucas. Only the man who thought Jar Jar Binks was a good idea could kill something as good as Indiana Jones. After making the first new SW movie he must have contracted the Jar-Jar Binks disease and carried over into Indiana Jones. Sadly, it seems it even got to his good friend Steven because he didn't put the ax down on scenes that shouldn't have even been in the movie. If only there were some vaccine that could cure this giant disease we all call "suck", things possibly could have been better.

All it really comes down to is what they taught us all in grade school. When it comes to Star Wars 7-9 and Indiana Jones 5...JUST SAY NO! Here's a picture of what should have happened in the new Star Wars movies.

(See, I knew Elvis wasn't dead! He just time traveled to the future to become a Storm Trooper.)