4th Grade Writing of the Day

I just finished correcting all of the first writing prompts of the year and I thought to myself that it wouldn't be fair to just share 4th grade sayings of the day. Sometimes you come across a typo or mistake that is so funny you just have to share with someone. Enjoy!

While writing about a cat, one student writes..."Don’t let her jump on you or else she will bitch you on the cheek." I think I know what a bite would look like, but I'm dying to see a bitch to someone's cheek.

Another student is writing about her hamster. She writes, "Hamsters can sometimes be gross because when you put them in a ball that rolls, they will start pooping where they want and when they want." I never knew hamsters had the sheer willpower to control their bowel movements. I thought they just went. Oh well. You learn something new every day, right?

The Best Parenting Guide Ever!

My friend Phil sent me a gift today that answers any questions I will have about taking care of future baby Porter. It's called Safe Baby Handling Tips by David and Kelly Sopp. It's a picture book that gives you advice with simple pictures of the do's and don'ts of child care. It even comes with a the handy dandy WHEEL OF RESPONSIBILITY. The wheel not only "keeps parents fair, honest and undivorced," but also makes it so arents can simply spin the wheel to see who's duty it is to clean the doodies. So that you can enjoy this book as much as I have today, here are a few pictures of my favorite do's and don'ts.

Old Yearbook Photos

I always love looking at old yearbook photos and laughing at how ridiculous we all looked, especially other people. My shining moment of glory goes back to 7th grade when I was sporting the Will Wheaton Star Trek NG comb over. There was nothing like it. If you combed it just right, you could get this cool wave in the front. It was rad. It's also very easy to think and hypothesize about what we would have looked like back in the day of our parents. Well ponder no more because you can do just that with Yearbook Yourself...and that's exactly what I did. I hope you laugh as much as I did. Cheers!

Daily Journal

My good friend Jay McKinney asked me if I would like to write a journal entry to share with the team and the church. I honestly didn't think that I was that good of a writer to share something with everyone, but I nodded and told him I would do my best. Below is the journal entry. Enjoy.

1 Timothy 4: 14 & 15 “Do not neglect your gift, which was given you through a prophetic message when the body of elders laid their hands on you. Be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them so that everyone may see your progress.”

God has a special way of showing us what gifts we have. He opens doors to create opportunities for us to use our gifts. He puts people in our lives that tell us where we are gifted. He also plants the desire to use these gifts deep within the core of our being. Timothy’s gift was preaching and teaching others about Jesus. He had to use his gifts if he was going to be successful. He had to stay strong in the word. But most of all, he had to focus on his strengths.

Being a young man myself, I have to say that sometimes it’s a little hard to focus on just one thing. There are times when there are so many things going on in my life. How is my wife doing? What’s it going to be like to be a dad? What do I have to do for work? What’s on TV? Did I remember to feed the fish? The sad thing is that most of the time my life is so cluttered, I look back and say, “That was OK.”

OK? Isn’t that just a term for all right, not bad, or fine? Wouldn’t it be better if I ended the day saying, “That was AWESOME!”?

This is the way God wants us to feel after we have spent some time using our gifts. He wants us to feel completely confident that everything was great, not good. But we can only do this if we “give ourselves wholly” to our gifts. It’s then that we’ll really start to see the fireworks. When we start to focus, God will start using our gifts in more ways than we can imagine.

4th Grade Sayings of the Day

So every once in a while kids say things that are completely ridiculous.  I thought it would be funny to post them as they come throughout the year.  Here are just a few of my favorites from this week.  These moments either get me shaking my head with disbelief or laughing out loud.

On the first day of school, one of my boys from last year sees me and says, "Hey Mr. Porter.  You know how you taught us about puberty last year?  Well, I started over the summer!"  All I could do was stand there, pat him on the back and say, "That's great."

After saying "Follow along and copy what I put on the board," a kid raises his hand and asks me, "Do I need to write this down?"

While reading Louis Sachar's Sideways Stories at Wayside School, a mean teacher turns students into apples.  Later on in the story, the kids are turned back into students and the mean, old teacher (old being the key word here) is turned into an apple instead.  After my students finish reading the chapter, I ask them, "So do you think she tasted good as an apple?"  One of my bright kids looks up and says, "She was probably turned into a Granny Smith."  Brilliant!

Lastly, today I take the kids outside to make lists of living and non-living things.  Five minutes pass by and all of the sudden I have a student ask me this..."Is POOP a living thing?"

What have you funny sayings have you heard lately?  

Manga Me

Thanks to Wally, I can now be a character in a manga. It's what I always wanted. (Smiling and giving best Japanese peace sign.) You can make yourself as well if you want to at http://www.faceyourmanga.com. I'd love to see all of you in manga form as well. Then we can all be in the same comic and take Japan by storm.

30 and Counting

Since Jenny tagged me, I guess I have to write about it now.

Ah 30, how I love thee. No longer a teen or a twenty something...but right in the middle between immature and old (for guys at least). I may be 30 but to this day I still like the same things I did when I was little. I still watch cartoons, read comics, play kickball, and play video games. Seems like nothing has changed at all, except I am now a "bigger" kid. I chose a profession where I get to still cut, color, glue, paste, and read kid books. I still like tall girls, or should I say "girl" because now I'm married to one. And lastly, I still sing in the shower. So you wonder what I think about being 30? It's just another day in the life of me.

Quality Time With Sam

Every once in a while there is a TV show that gets you hooked. For some reason it has the right chemistry of actors and a perfect blend of action, comedy, and drama that gets you so pumped up that you can't wait for the next episode. Although I watch more television that I should, one of my favorites is Burn Notice. (Super spy guy helps those in need while giving witty banter on the how-to of spy work.) Even Alli loves it. But the best part about the entire show is Sam, who is played by Oregon's very own Bruce Campbell. Bruce, of Evil Dead fame, plays Sam, an older retired spy who loves the ladies, drinks far too much, but always comes through in the end. So why bring up this show and Bruce? First is to say that I'm ecstatic to know that last Thursday's episode was not the finale and that the second season will continue in January. Yipee! Second is to spread the goodness that is Burn Notice to all of the non-watchers out there. And third is to say how awesome Bruce (aka Sam) was in person. Alli and I got to meet him at a book signing at the Borders in Fresno. Honestly, I can now say that I have never met anyone quite as cool as Bruce. I guess guys with the name Bruce are just awesome (That means you too, Dad). Enjoy.

Musical Chimes

I started the summer off with a goal to complete an EP on my own. This turned out to be a lot harder to do than I thought. When working by yourself, you find you have to plow through the tedious chore of creating drum tracks as well as recording all of the solo tracks over the top of that. Needless to say, I didn't get far. One crashed hard drive and many corrupted files later, I was left with zilch. But music is a funny thing. It comes and goes as it pleases. You can be struck with a stroke of brilliance one moment and then left with severe mental block shortly after. Sadly, the summer passed and I have nothing but a crackly recording of one of the songs. But I guess my muse has kicked into high gear with the creation of a new song called Little Eyes. For all of those who care, I'll be posting my music on drop.io/portermusic, password portermusic. Feel free to download and share to your heart's content. Serus Victoria may be dead, but Porter plays on!

Three Bell Chime

Knowing where one comes from can often be a very enlightening experience. So when my father found our family's coat of arms and showed it to me, this weird feeling came over me. Just knowing where our family came from and that we had our own crest was awesome. On the coat of arms there are three silver bells. The surname PORTER came from the occupation of being a porter, which is a person who opens the door for you. But the bells always meant something more to me. They became a symbol of creativity to me and I always imagined that those bells would make a beautiful sound if ever heard. So why name my blog the Three Bell Chime? I love having outlets to share with others, but this won't just be for my creative endeavors. Oh no, that wouldn't be fun at all. This will be for all of the random thoughts, weird discoveries, fanboy rants, otaku information, and a place to talk about music. So from this day forth, let me be a true porter and open the door to you to enjoy the Three Bell Chime!